There are some speeches in the world of sports that transcend the world of sports. Jim Valvano made one of those speeches. During the 1980’s he coached the NC State university men’s basketball team to a very improbable NCAA championship. In the early 90’s, he became an accomplished commentator. In his speech for ESPN’s inaugural ESPY awards in 1993, he said something that was so impactful for me, that I’ve shared it with you a few times before.

See, 9 months before his speech he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. And 2 months after his speech, cancer took his life. When someone says something as they are facing death...you tend to pay attention.

This was Jimmy V’s advice...how he approached his life, even when his body was subject to this terrible disease. He said,

“To me, there are three things we all should do every day. We should do this every day of our lives. Number one is laugh. You should laugh every day. Number two is think. You should spend some time in thought. And number three is, you should have your emotions moved to tears, could be happiness or joy. But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.”

If you happened to be in Raleigh, NC anytime soon, you can walk into the Oakwood Cemetery and find Jimmy V’s tombstone. On it there is nothing written about a National Championship. There’s nothing written about sports at all.Instead it says “Take Time everyday to laugh, to think to cry.”

For a lot of us, we can make sense of advice to laugh and to think.
But cry? Everyday? You know women cry an average of 5 times a month. And men only cry an average of ONCE a month. But Jimmy V says, you wanna have a heck special life?...be moved to tears...everyday!

Today, I’m going to show you the beginning of the end of the Apostle Paul’s life. And what we’re going to read today is FULL of TEARs. In fact, you might say this I what Paul wants written on his tombstone.

I think Paul and Jimmy V would agree about what makes a special life.

The difference is, in this passage, Paul’s going to show you WHAT to LAUGH At, What to THINK ABOUT...and WHY its so important to shed those tears.

In the end, this passage is a picture of the kind of relationships that the church should have. Its really a picture of deep friendship. The kind of community that you are created for. In fact, this is the passage I always read to our Elder team when I am reminding them of the kind of relationship we want to have with all of you.So, here we go. Lets laugh and think and cry a little bit, shall we?

Acts 20:7-12

On the first day of the week, when we were gathered together to break bread, Paul talked with them, intending to depart on the next day, and he prolonged his speech until midnight. There were many lamps in the upper room where we were gathered. And a young man named Eutychus, sitting at the window, sank into a deep sleep as Paul talked still longer. And being overcome by sleep, he fell down from the third story and was taken up dead. But Paul went down and bent over him, and taking him in his arms, said, “Do not be alarmed, for his life is in him.” And when Paul had gone up and had broken bread and eaten, he conversed with them a long while, until daybreak, and so departed. And they took the youth away alive, and were not a little comforted.

Acts 20:17-38

Now from Miletus he sent to Ephesus and called the elders of the church to come to him. And when they came to him, he said to them:

“You yourselves know how I lived among you the whole time from the first day that I set foot in Asia, serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials that happened to me through the plots of the Jews; how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house, testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ. And now, behold, I am going to Jerusalem, constrained by the Spirit, not knowing what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit testifies to me in every city that imprisonment and afflictions await me. But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. And now, behold, I know that none of you among whom I have gone about proclaiming the kingdom will see my face again. Therefore I testify to you this day that I am innocent of the blood of all, for I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole counsel of God. Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them. Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish every one with tears. And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified. I coveted no one's silver or gold or apparel. You yourselves know that these hands ministered to my necessities and to those who were with me. In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”

And when he had said these things, he knelt down and prayed with them all. And there was much weeping on the part of all; they embraced Paul and kissed him, being sorrowful most of all because of the word he had spoken, that they would not see his face again. And they accompanied him to the ship.

Let me paraphrase what Paul says here to the Ephesian elders, “when I’m with you, I have to admonish you and encourage you with tears, and the Jewish leaders are trying to kill me...

But then, when I leave you, we all cry together when I have to go. I hate to leave you.” Whether he’s with Ephesians or leaving them...it tears him up.

You know what this is? This is the boyband NSync’s first song
...You remember? “Its tearing up my heart to be with you, but when we are a apart I feel it too. No matter what I do I feel the pain.”

In fact, here’s picture of Paul and the Ephesian elders

Also the apostle Paul wants to alert you to be ready for next month.

Cuz... Its gonna be May

And in the spirit of laughing, can I just point out that the apostle Paul slash Justin Timberlake looks exactly like our youth and college minister Elisha Lawrence.

As Paul’s heart was tearin’ up, and his eyes were tearing up...and it works because you spell it the same.

WARNING: Today’s sermon is more *NSync than a pile of dirty dishes.

In all seriousness, every single one of us wants relationships like Paul has with the Ephesians. We want to missed when aren’t around. We want to be moved to tears because of how much we care about each other.

So, lets take a look at the way the gospel pushes us to laugh, think, and cry with each other by looking at what happens in Acts 20.

1) The gospel creates the humility to laugh at yourself and the confidence to laugh at death.

Some times stories show up in the Bible and you have to ask...why in the world did the author include this. That’s the way I feel about the story of Eutychus, the kid who fell out of the window while Paul is preaching. I think this story is there for 2 reasons. Number 1- Its an encouragement to pastors like me. Even the apostle Paul preached some long-winded sermons that literally bored people to death.

But number 2- I think Luke includes it in this narrative because it's a little picture about Paul’s approach to death, and his view of himself. Let me show you. First of all...I can tell you from firsthand experience, that most people’s knee-jerk reaction to watching someone fall asleep while they are talking to you is not very nice. You don’t think.. “They must have had a rough night last night” You immediately think... “They don't care about what I have to say...and that means they don’t care about me.” But look what Paul does. He calmly walks down, picks the kid up, brings him back to life...and then ... And then keeps talking until the sun comes up the next day. He doesn’t get offended. You know why, because Paul doesn’t take himself too seriously. He also doesn’t take death too seriously Don’t get me wrong. There is a seriousness to death. If you were here on Easter, you heard me talk about that. I’m not talking about approaching death flippantly or nonchalant...I’m talking about seeing death through the lens of the resurrection of Jesus.

The good news about Jesus tells you that you are more sinful than you could ever think...but even though God knows that...he loves you more than you could ever dream. In fact, he loves you so much, in Jesus, he took the penalty for your sin on the cross...and resurrected to pave the way for you to also resurrect and be with God forever.

Now, do you see how on one hand that creates the kind of humility to be able to not take yourself seriously...and on the other hand, the utter confidence to stare death in the face and laugh? See, once I can fearlessly acknowledge that I’m not saved BECAUSE I’m a great person...or because I’m good at the things I do...all of sudden, I’m not afraid to recognize my weaknesses...or my sin.

In Paul’s letter to the Phillipian church, he says...”Yeah, I did a lot of stuff people loved...but I count all of that stuff on my resume as rubbish...trash...compared to knowing how God loves me in Jesus Christ.”

See, When I look at the cross of Jesus, I have to be humbled, because I’m part of the reason he’s there. So while I hate my sin, it doesn’t take me by surprise. That means I’m not easily offended. ...and it means even when people fall asleep in my sermons, I can freely own up to the truth that I’m not the cats meow...and none of my identity takes a hit...because my identity is wrapped up in God’s love for me... and no matter how many of you fall asleep...no matter how many bad sermons I preach...while it may change what I think about my preaching...it doesn’t change a bit of God’s love for me.

And see, when I look at Jesus’ resurrection...all of sudden...death doesn’t hit me as hard as it used to. Instead, even though I can’t raise someone from the dead...I know that Christ can...and promises to. So, when your mind is on the gospel, When that good news IS what you think about when you think...it makes you humble enough to not take yourself too seriously....and confident enough to not take death too seriously.

And Paul, every where he goes, exhibits this beautifully. Paul says to the Ephesian elders... “You have seen how I served with humility...and when tears and trials came...I didn’t back down. When the Jewish zealots threatened by life...I didn’t shrink back.

And then he says “There’s only one thing I know for sure. Wherever I go, I’m not going to escape suffering and death. Its going to be there waiting for me. But I don’t count my life of any value simply because I’m ME...I only count it worth something because Jesus has been so good to me to save me and send me on a mission...”

Do you see it? Humility- I don’t count my life worth anything because of what I do... but because I know what’s been done for me. But Confidence- “So I’ll keep going knowing that death is there...but I don’t have to be afraid...because I serve a God who defeated death.”

Nothing else in the universe can at the same time create this deep sincere humility...the ability to laugh at yourself...and the same time it produces this courageous confidence...the ability to laugh at death.

So you can laugh til you cry at yourself...because you know Jesus has spoken the final word about who you are and why you’re valuable. And when death and suffering come into your life...you can cry ‘til you laugh. Because you know who has the last word about death.

But you can only do it if you stop thinking so much about you and how you’ve been sinned against...and start thinking about the gospel....what God did to love you in the middle of all your sin.

...see...
2) The gospel lets you fearlessly think the truth into your life...even when it hurts.

Now we are getting into part nobody likes. We all love to laugh so much that we cry, we love the idea of not taking ourselves too seriously...and being confident in the face of death.... but confronting someone with the truth or being confronted with the truth...that that leaves you in tears...that’s not fun. But over and over and over in Scripture, you will see that is vitally important in any deeply intimate friendship.

A few weeks ago we talked about friendship and I shared this Proverb with you.

Provers 27:5-6

Better is open rebuke
than hidden love.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

The point here is that anybody who is a true friend to you is going to be a person who steps on your toes every now and then. It’s a person who will tell you truth about your sin. That’s what rebuke is.But, see, they cut you like a surgeon. For your good....and they are committed to your healing.

If your friends aren’t at some point helping you see your own sin and kill it, if all you ever hear from your friends is an affirmation of your awesomeness...or all you ever ask your friends to do is affirm your awesomeness...

Well, you may not friends at all. You may have surrounded yourself with enemies who love to blow you kisses. Take a look at Paul’s commitment to the truth as he talks with the Ephesian elders and encourages them to live in community this way. Paul says I didn’t shrink back from telling you the truth. If it was profitable I said it to you. I went from house to house...telling you the truth. He says I can say with all honesty that if you choose not to follow Jesus, if you choose to reject me and not believe the truth...it won’t be because I didn’t deliver it to you. He says, I delivered to you the whole counsel of God. In other words, the parts of the Bible that offended you...the parts that called you to repent of your sin...to turn around...even though I knew it was going to hurt you...I delivered those to you. Because I love you.

Then, look how he instructs these elders of this church. He says... “Not only should you deliver the truth that hurts...” You also have to watch out for people who are going to come in to the church and spread lies...with the intent of drawing people away.” See, there’s always an easier way that calls to you. There’s always someone trying to convince you that hearing the truth...that stopping to think about what Scripture says is not necessary. There’s always a “friend” that will say to you, “You are OK just like you are. Don’t let people feed you that stuff. God is all about love. And if that church is telling you about your sin...well, I think you should leave.”

...and then Paul ends this little bit about preaching the truth to them with this little peak into his heart. “I did not cease night or day to admonish everyone with tears.” Do you know what admonish means? This is the Greek word Noutheo...it means to warn someone of the dangerous consequences of their actions. Its to encourage someone in a very heavy way...that they need to turn around from the direction they’re going...and Paul does it with tears.

Do you know what that shows me about Paul? He loves this church. He has had to sit across the table from someone who is hell bent on believing a lie...and its tearin’ up his heart. He has begged, pleaded for them to turn around. To stop their foolishness...and no doubt Paul has seen some of those people turn around. And it was beautiful. But no doubt he walked some folks walk right out the door...and he knows they are walking off a cliff.

I want you to know something. The hardest part of being your pastor is not preaching every week. I love doing this. This is my wheelhouse. When part of my job includes choosing the picture of Justin Timberlake that looks MOST like one our staff team...I thank God for making a career for me that is EXACTLY suited to my spiritual gifting....and I know some of you would rather die than speak in public, but I love it...even when you fall asleep But admonishing with tears....That is HANDS DOWN the hardest part of being an elder. It's gut wrenching.

Because I’ve sat across the table from some of you...and with tears begged you to listen to the truth of Scripture. I’ve talked to some of you who were on the verge of giving up your fight with sin...and I’ve not withheld from you the whole counsel of God’s word from you...and by God’s grace we’ve seen so many people turn around. I’ve watched so many of you beautifully believe the truth and blossom into humbly confident people who are now the kind of friends that bring hard truth into others lives...but I’ve also watched people walk out the door. We’ve had elders meetings go late into the night as we’ve wept and prayed for men and women who have been led astray by false doctrine. In those moments, I am suddenly tempted to believe a lie. You didn’t do enough. You weren’t good enough. You should’ve done or said something different. You should have been more involved...you should have been less involved...and that’s why I’m so thankful for Paul said next. He says, at the end of the day, I have to commend you to God...and to the word of his grace...Do you know what that means?

Its Paul saying, “I’ve done everything I can...Now, I have to trust that God loves you more than I do. After all, its not me that has the power to change you...it it's the grace of God.” This is why its so important to our elders, and to our church, that the Bible is our authority. Not my preaching. Not our ideas. Not our preferences. But the word of grace.

Isn’t interesting how Paul describes the whole counsel of God...the as “the word of his grace”. He says, “The Bible is the word about God’s grace that is able to build you up, AND to give you the inheritance of eternal life. Here’s what that means. It means the good news about Jesus isn’t SIMPLY about going to heaven. The gospel, that Jesus lived the life you were supposed to, then died the death you deserved, then resurrected to pave the way for you to new life... that’s not just some eternal ticket for the a heaven-bound train.

See, a lot of you have this idea when I say “gospel” that I mean this is just something for non-Christians to believe to BECOME Christians. Then after that you work really hard to do good stuff to pay Jesus back.But that’s not grace. That’s a loan. Grace is when something is given to you that you don’t deserve...without payment. That’s exactly what the gospel is. Jesus took your punishment for you sin, and you took his reward. He became your sin, you became his righteous.

Now, that isn’t just some propositional phrase to decide one time in a prayer whether or not you believe it. Its not just the first step to being a Christian. It's the whole stairway.

The gospel IS the truth that you have to think deeply into your life everyday. IT IS the news that tells of your salvation and it IS the power to chisel you into the image of Christ.

That’s why its so crucial that you don’t simply put the gospel away to use as an evangelism tool. It has to be thought deeply down into every area of your life.

Let me show you how this all comes together. Tearful rebuke that thinks the gospel down into a situation. In Paul’s letter to the Galatians, he tells them this little story about a little awkward moment between him and Peter.

Now, don’t forget who Peter is. One of the original 12 disciples. The first preacher at Pentecost. Jesus told him, “upon this rock I will build my church.” He was following Jesus long before Paul. I mean, when Peter was preaching at Pentecost...Saul was murdering Christians. So in this story, Paul is the Jr. Christian...and Peter is the super mature rock.

But Peter has the flash of racism come up in his life. He refuses to eat with Gentiles because he afraid that his Jewish friends won’t like him anymore. And he starts leading a bunch of other Christians down the same path. So, the younger more inexperienced Christian, Paul CONFRONTS him.

Look at this. Paul says, I opposed him to his face. I’m sure Peter was like, “Why you wanna try to classify the type of thing we do?” Paul says, “I saw that their conduct was out of step with the gospel.” Or, you might say, The way they were acting wasn’t NSync with the gospel. See, when Paul confronts racism in Peter’s life...he doesn’t shame him. “You should be ashamed of yourself.” He doesn’t appeal to his pride, “Paul, what will people say about you.” He doesn’t even appeal to his morality, “Hey Paul, racism is evil. Stop doing it.” No, he looks Paul in the eye and says, “How is it that on one hand you can believe that Jesus welcomes in Gentiles to the faith, yet then, pretend that they aren’t worthy of your attention?” If you actually believe that Christ died for Gentiles too, then how should you now treat them differently?”

The kind of tearful and truthful confrontation we should have with each other shouldn’t center on our ability to be good moral people, it especially shouldn’t center on shaming each other into “doing the right thing”...rather, we have to help one another think the gospel into our life situations.

See, when you understand how gracious God has been with you, when a friend, a brother or sister in Christ, another covenant member at City Church confronts you with the gospel and asks you, “Who’s going to follow Jesus,” Because you are overwhelmed with grace and love...not pride or shame...your reply is always going to be. It’s gonna be May.

Of course, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t bring tears, both to the person delivering the truth...and the person receiving it.

But the gospel tells you now that Jesus has paid for your sin, you don’t have to be afraid to drag it out into the open and put it death...because it can’t condemn you or define you anymore.

Let me give you a couple of ways to move toward having these kinds of friends here at City Church: Community Groups, Weekender (elders), Serving.

So the gospel helps you to laugh so much you cry, cry so much you laugh, and it allows you to give and receive tearful truth...but there’s one more kind of tears we need to talk about...

3) The gospel creates tearful goodbyes, but only because it has a mission that ends without them.

This passage ends in one of the most beautiful scenes in the New Testament. Its Paul kneeling on a beach in front of the ship that is taking him away from the Ephesians. And they are all surrounding Paul and praying for him while they weep. They hug him. Kiss him. And I bet they can’t even say a word without ugly crying.

See, they love Paul. Because he delivered the gospel to them. When no one else could, Paul risked his life to not only preach the good news to them, but to train them up to walk closely with Jesus. And now, they have to say goodbye...and its hard to say goodbye, especially when you know you’ll never see someone again.

So why do it? If it hurts so bad, why don’t we just stay with the people we love. Why don’t we just find a people that will love us and challenge us with the gospel and wait it out til Jesus comes back. Well, here’s why.

Just before Paul leaves, he reminds the Ephesians that Jesus taught them that it is better to give than to receive. He says, “Because the gospel tells us that when we were helpless, when we were weak, Christ died for us.

That means now, if we are going to walk NSync with the gospel, we’ve gotta be willing to say to each other, for the mission of God...“I wanna you see you walk out that door, baby BYE BYE BYE.”

For the sake of the world hearing the gospel, we’ve got to say goodbye to our money. You know, that is primarily what Paul is encouraging here. He’s encouraging the Ephesians that for the sake of the gospel, and for the sake of others, to not hold onto to their money, but to give it away freely...and of course, we’ve gotta be willing to send people away for the sake of carrying the good news everywhere.

Last week, in one Sunday, I prayed with 3 young couples who spent their last Sunday with us. The Peterman’s, The Gormans, and the Shores. I married 2 of those couples. All 3 of them were vital members of our church who were deeply on mission here in Murfreesboro. But called them to Raleigh, and Knoxville, and Memphis. And who am I to stand in God’s way.

But every single one of those couples as I hugged them and prayed for them and cried with them testified to your faithfulness, City Church. They testified about how you helped deeply implant the gospel into their lives....and now their taking that to 3 other cities.

This is why we want to plant churches. Its why we want you to leave our church. Because you can’t believe that God just wants to save you and then stop. He has so many other people that he is calling into this family...and that means some more tearful goodbyes. But you know what. I told this to every single one of those couples.I said, “Even though it hurts to say good bye. Even though the music of my heart can’t believe your GONE, and I’ll drive myself crazy thinking of you...even though I want you back and its tearin’ up my heart to see you go..” I told them, “This I promise you...I know that one day...the goodbyes will end...and so will the tears.”

See, Jesus promised, that when he returns to finish remaking the world...that all those who believe the gospel, who put their trust in him will be a part of this new world that he describes like this.

Revelation 21:4

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

The gospel produces tears now, but only because later it promises there will be no more. See, Paul went to Jerusalem facing death. And when he did, his friends knelt with him, kissed him, embraced him and reminded him of God’s love and presence in his life. But in the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus knelt to pray. But as he prayed the night before he died, he asked his friends to pray with him. The people he had invested his life in. But like, Eutychus in the window, they fell asleep.And they didn’t embrace and kiss him...they didn’t even say goodbye. In fact, they deserted and denied him. And on the cross, Jesus wasn’t reminded of the love of his Heavenly Father, he was forsaken...left alone...for you.

See, that is what you and I deserved for our denial of the truth. For our sin. But Jesus took it for us. So that now, we can trust him with every part of our lives...and we can gladly open our hands to our money, and our friends...all for his mission that is brining us an eternal imperishable inheritance...and friends that we’ll never lose.