In the late 90’s, I was at MTSU with a guy named Jeremy Cowart. This is how his story goes in his own words. 

“Growing up, I was never smart, I couldn’t pay attention, I was a terrible listener and I made bad grades. I was quiet shy and really just average.” 

He says, “I remember telling my mom and dad [all the time] ‘I can’t do this’. Everything I ended with those words, “I can’t do this” That’s when my dad started reprogramming my brain with one simple sentence, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:13) He said this to me for years. Over and over and over again.” 

[In college, when I showed an interest in art], “my parents encouraged me to ‘look into graphic design and computers. I can’t. Computers are for smart people. People who can focus. Then my dad reminded me again. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

After college, Jeremy got a job at an ad agency. But his boss fired him.
He says, “But [my boss] was too late, because [by now] I was already believing that I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

Jeremy eventually moved from graphic design to photography. Where he became a huge success. He went on to photograph celebrities like Sting, Ryan Seacrest, Taylor Swift, Carrie Underwood, President Obama, Pope Francis. He’s been nominated for an Emmy. You’ve seen his work on Billboards for St. Thomas Health “Nothing shall be impossible” Huffington post named him the most influential photographer on the internet. 

Jeremy says in a recent video he released, “So I made it. But wait. So what. Seriously. Who cares? Was being a photography rock star really my goal? I realized that I shouldn’t aim for greatness and stop there. Greatness should serve a greater purpose.” 

So he began a global event for photographers call Help Portrait that gives free portraits to the poor and disadvantaged. Because of his fearless influence, 100k photographers have given away more than half a million photos to people who have used them to find jobs or sometimes just find human dignity. 

With photography, he helped tell the untold stories of the people of Haiti following the 2010 earthquake. Those photographs inspired the United Nations to pledge 10 billion dollars to rebuild Haiti. 

Then, he went to Rwanda to and photograph Rwandan genocide survivors standing with the people who killed their families...people they had forgiven. 

Uganda, was next. There, Jeremy helped children who were rescued from Joseph Kony’s army of child soldiers to draw their painful stories and their dreams of the future. 

Jeremy helped turned their art into prints which he is now selling to support the ongoing art therapy with those Ugandan survivors. 

He is currently working on a dream to open up a worldwide hotel chain called “The Purpose Hotel”, where every dollar spent goes to helping a child in need, bringing clean water to areas that don’t have access, and employing the homeless. Everything in the hotel will be connected to cause or a non-profit. 

Jeremy and his wife Shannon have 2 biological children and recently adopted 2 more children from Haiti. 

To quote Jeremy, “You know what I tell [my kids] every chance I get? Philippians 4:13 - They can do all things through Christ who strengthens them.” 

“You see, that idea the my parents instilled in me, not only helped me overcome my challenges and insecurities, but it blew off my limitations and opened up the world to me.” 

As I watched Jeremy’s video this week, tears rolling down my face, I thought, “What if his Dad had never said those words? Or what if he would have said them just one time...and stopped? Or what if instead of saying those life-giving, world-changing, fear-killing, truthful words....what if he was answering important work emails on his phone” 

What if Jeremy didn’t learn Philippians 4:13 from his dad, but instead...learned to escape into a screen? 

What if he learned that the best encouragement doesn’t come from your parents... but from the infinite and infallible wisdom of your Facebook friends? 

Today, I want to do 2 things that may seem contradictory. On one hand, I want you to see that parents have one of the most crucially important jobs in the universe....and that’s HEAVY. 

On the other hand, today, whether you are a parent who feels like you are totally failing your kids, or a kid who feels like you have totally failed your parents...I want you to walk out of here knowing “You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.” 

Lets go. 

Eph 6:1-4
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. 

Psalm 127
Unless the LORD builds the house, 

those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, 

the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early 

and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; 

for he gives to his beloved sleep. 

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. 

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. 

Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them! 

He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. 

These verses show us God’s goal for children, The role parents play in that, and more importantly, God’s role in getting them there. 

So, let’s start by talking about the goal.
1) God’s goal for kids is to grow & go, not to be safe and successful 

As a parent, I want my kids to be safe. I think if you record most parents prayers, You’d here them asking God for the safety of their kids. If you listen to the prayers before youth sporting events, what’s the #1 request?...”keep our kids safe...help no one to get hurt.” 

Nothing wrong with those prayers in and of themselves. I’m not suggesting you start praying that your kids get hurt “to teach them a valuable lesson”. 

But when our concern for our kids safety starts to become our ultimate goal, overshadowing any greater purpose, then we’re in trouble. Take a look at the instructions in Ephesians 6:1. Notice that there is an expected change in the role of a parent in a kids’ life. 

First, Paul says “Children, obey your parents” That word “Children” is the greek word “Teknon”. It means little children. This is a direct command to younger children. Children who are immediately under their parents care. The idea here, kids in the room, is pretty simple. Obey your parents. You aren’t the boss, your parents are. We’ll talk more about that in a second...right now, I just want to make the point that your relationship with your parents is designed to change. 

Look at Ephesians 6:2-3. In verse 2, Paul is quoting one of the 10 commandments from Exodus 20. “Honor your Father & Mother” Now, the primary idea behind this commandment is for adults, not kids. Obeying is a specific way that younger kids honor their parents, but as you grow, you are intended to not simply obey your parents. My Dad & Mom don't call me up and tell me what to do now. They did when I was 5. And 12. And 18. 

But as we grow, God’s plan is that we move from raw simple obedience of our parents, and toward honoring them. That word “HONOR” in Exodus 20, where this command is quoted from means “weight”. It's the word for glory. 

That means that God’s plan is for kids to grow up. To move from receiving instruction and provision from parents, to blessing their parents, speaking well of them, and caring for them. To give them glory, or honor, or weight in my life. But its intended to be gradual. 

That’s why Paul’s instructions to parents here is to “bring them up”. It's a gradual term. Every day along the way, kids are slowly transitioning from the parent’s saying “Do this because I said so” to the kids saying “I’m going to make the choice to honor you”. They should be given increasing amounts of responsibility. They should begin to understand life skills like budgeting money, working, household chores, and how to interact with people relationally. 

Of course, Mom & Dad, that’s all very scary. Because that means, in 1,000 little moments along the way, you have to say... “I’ve got to let you go.” Parents, sometimes this means watching your kids walk into situations where you know they are going to be hurt. Where you know they are going to fail. Your role is NOT to keep them from hurt, mistakes, or failures....its to be sure they have what they need to get back up again, to learn from it. That’s what growth is. To do that, they need to know (even as your relationship changes), that you still love them...and you are still there to help. 

You know what can really get in the way of this? Texting? Moms and Dads. In the history of the world no parents have been able at any time to give their kids, instant advice, instant rebuke, instant warning...no parents have ever been able to stay so connected to their kids as we can today. 

Mommas & Daddies, your teenage kids, your college kids, they aren’t supposed to have constant conversation, answer all of your questions, and report what time they woke up and went to bed every morning and evening to you. Teenage kids, college kids, you aren’t supposed to text Mom & Dad every time something needs fixing. They aren’t supposed to bail you out of every situation. 

Its hard to grow up & go, when you talk with your mother via text 14 times a day. Its like carrying your parents in your pocket. (which parents, I know sounds very comforting, but it could be standing in the way of your kids growing up). 

Before we continue, I want to address what some of you might be thinking. “But Trev, My parents were abusive. My parents hurt me. My parents may have given me discipline and instruction...but it certainly wasn’t “of the LORD”...and you want me to honor them?” 

Listen, this command does not mean that you pretend your parents were someone they aren’t. It doesn’t mean you endorse their sinful behavior. It doesn’t mean that you let them tell you what to do or that you are compelled to listen to their advice. It doesn’t mean that you are supposed to give in to any sort of emotional manipulation or guilt trips meant to control you. It doesn’t even mean that you trust them completely. This scripture is not telling you to leave your kids for the weekend with a parent that abused you. 

Essentially, for those of you with parents that have hurt you...it means you forgive them. It means you love them unconditionally. It means you don’t bear a grudge, but you seek their welfare...you seek to bless them. 

Parents...I want you to think. Do you want your kids to grow up and STRUGGLE with the command to honor you? I don’t think any parent wants that. And that means that we can’t simply stop at helping our kids grow up safe. We have to see God’s greater goal for their lives. 

Jeremy Cowart hit the nail on the head when he said after achieving great career success, “I realized that I shouldn’t aim for greatness and stop there. Greatness should serve a greater purpose.” -Jeremy Coward 

The ultimate aim is not “your kids’ success”. Its that they serve a greater purpose... but what purpose? Look at Psalm 127:4-5a. Do you see what the Psalmist says here? Parents, he says your only goal isn’t just to RAISE your children...its to point them...and shoot them. NOT SHOOT AT THEM!!! But like an archer shoots and arrow at a target, the parent aims and fires their children at a target. Again, disclaimer, do not put your children in a catapult or a cannon! 

Here’s the idea the Psalmist is giving you. Your kids are not YOURS. They are from the LORD. They are on loan. God’s purpose is for you to send them out...FOR HIM. God’s plan is that all along that as you raise them, you are helping them to realize that God has a way he is going to use them in his plan to bless the world...and then to let them fly. 

You are helping them, with the strength Christ provides, to point them at the target of NOT SIMPLY HONORING YOU...but honoring God. The ultimate goal is that you let them fly into the world to bring glory to God in whatever role he has for them to play. 

If the goal of parenting is to raise your kids to be “safe”, you’ll hold them back. You’ll be a helicopter parent that never lets them learn their own mistakes. And you certainly won’t ever shoot them out on a mission to glorify God. That’s too scary. 

And if the goal of parenting is to raise your kids to be “successful”, then you’ll spend your time trying to help your kids simply be good AT something...instead of good FOR something. You won’t ever give them a “why”. You won’t show them how to use their gifts to love, and cultivate relationships and bring honor to God. So they’ll probably just use them to make money. 

God’s command to parents is to prepare our children to be launched into the world with a purpose to love and honor him in whatever they do. 

Now, I want you to see how to do that. See... 

2) Before kids have a relationship with God, they need a relationship with their parents. 

God is a person. His ultimate goal is not for us to do stuff FOR him...but for us to be with HIM. From Genesis to Revelation, God’s desire is for humans to know him. Its to dwell with him. To be with him. Do you know how the Bible ends? It ends with God’s people together with him forever. 

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.” 

The Bible doesn’t end with stories of all the great things you did for God, it doesn’t end with a list of how awesome you did at life. It ends with God and man, together forever in a remade world...forever a Father with his children, and those children honoring their Father. 

So, if the goal of the universe is our relationship with God our Father, it should be no surprise that the way we get our kids to understand that...is not mainly through giving a list of commands, but through being WITH them. 

Let me show you something about Psalm 127, that we didn’t read earlier. That is an instruction that this Psalm was to be sung by people as they ascended the hill leading to Jerusalem every year at their annual pilgrimage. In other words, this is a Psalm to be sung in transit. On the way. While you go. Its not like they waited til Sunday to sing this...they sang it on the journey. 

Here’s the way Moses puts that idea in Deut. 6:5-8. 

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes.” 

First this command is relational. Love the LORD GOD with all your hear and soul and might. Its not, “Hey, teach your kids about God so he won’t be mad at you” or “Teach your kids about God so he makes them safe and successful” 

The love of God, the desire to know him has to be... on your heart. It has to be at the center of what you WANT to do because you see how infinitely God loves you. 

Then he says, to teach your children diligently about God when? When you get around to a family devotion? When they go to Sunday School?No. 

He says “Talk about the LORD while you’re sitting in your house, when you’re on your everyday walk, driving around town, at the breakfast table, and when you tuck them in at night.” He says, “Put the Word of God, the word about CHRIST (as our Fighter Verse this month puts it)...put it where you can’t miss it. All the time. 

This is what I want you to hear. Kids learning to love God happens in a thousand little moments, not in a single “Talk”. 

So parents I want you to consider these 3 ways of teaching your kids to love Jesus. 

Get the Word of God in their heads every day.Here's some ways I do this with my family. Fighter Verse on fridge. Recite it with my kids before we go to bed. Over the course of a month, we have a bunch of little conversations about what it means. We watch a movie/listen to a song, we’ll talk about whether or not the message lined up with what we know about God, what we have learned in the Bible 

Here’s where technology can help. There are about a hundred different ways you can listen to the Bible on your phone. Plug it up in your car, play it while you make dinner. My sons and I love the Streetlights version. It's the Bible read over top of a hip hop beat. I tried it in my car the other day. I was rolling down Church street with the windows down bumping Ephesians. I think I listened to the entire book of Ephesians 5 times that day. Try it for a week. Bump it in your car while your riding with your kids and watch how much they soak it up. 

And of course, just flat read the Bible with your kids. For the smaller kids, The Jesus Storybook Bible is just the best. In fact, I learn when I read the Jesus Storybook Bible. For your older kids, get them a bible, and set aside times to read it together. 

B) Show them the love they are hearing about. The home is the place where kids see the gospel lived out the most. This is a little scary. My kids will learn whether or not to believe the gospel based more on the way I treat my wife, than how well I articulate the finer points of theology. 

The home is the place that I teach my kids what sin is, who God is, and how he has forgiven us in Christ. That means one of the greatest ways to teach my kids is by showing them my weakness. That means that I have to apologize often. They need to see the reality that I’m not perfect. One of the most common phrases in my house is “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?” 

See, your kids learn more through your weakness because they see you relying on the forgiveness of God, not on your own strength. They don’t need to learn that you are perfect, they need to see that Jesus is...and your kids don’t only learn the word of God and see his love from you. They learn it from those around them. 

That’s why we have a kids ministry at our church. Its not because we are trying to find something to do with the kids while this worship gathering is happening, its because we want to partner with you to teach your kids the gospel of Jesus. 

Parents, every single week your kids walk out of their City Kids class with a little card. On the back you’ll find the passage they studied and the main point. There is even a question you can ask to spark a conversation. There’s also a little section that says “Christ Connection”. This is a great way to talk to your kids about what they learned, and who Jesus is. 

And for those of you who aren’t parents, serving in City Kids is a great way to begin making disciples of the next generation. This is not baby sitting, its partnering with parents to teach the gospel to our kids and prepare them to be shot out like arrows to impact the world for Christ. 

One more word to parents: We need your leadership in City Kids. Right now, about a third of our City Kids leaders are college students. We need you to not check out of teaching kids, but to teach along side of some of our college students and young couples. 

See, when you do that, you are teaching them how to interact with kids. You are teaching them how to lead and our hope is, that as you serve alongside these younger folks, that you actually develop a relationship with them...that you invite them into your homes to get a close up look at your life and parenting. In a very real way, when you serve with a college student or young married couple in City Kids, you are helping to raise up FUTURE godly parents and Guys...this is NOT JUST FOR WOMEN. We need you too. 

C) Don’t let technology steal your “on the way” moments. 

An “On the Way” moment is the everyday stuff of life. It's a car ride. Its dinner. It's the playground. Its bedtime. Deut 6 & Psalm 127 instruct us to take advantage of these moments to teach our kids. Sadly, these are the moments we are allowing technology to steal. 

Instead of using a car ride to say, “Hey, anything you want to ask Mom and Dad about? Anything you are afraid of, worried about, or confused about?” Instead, we turn on a movie or pass an iPad to the back seat so we have time to look at our phone at stoplights. 

Parents, a trip across town is not an International Flight. You don’t need to watch a movie. TALK. Talk about something that matters. Teach your kids the word. 

At the dinner table, your kids are watching you. They are watching you stare at your phone to answer that important email, or respond to that important text. But when you do that you communicate a message to your kids...THEY ARE NOT IMPORTANT. And they learn from you that the dinner table is a place to escape to a screen, instead of talk about your day. Its not a place to ask questions, or draw close to one another...it's just a place to grab a quick bite to eat. 

And can I tell you something? Your kids WANT to eat dinner with you. They actually want to. Extensive studies have shown that your kids (ESPECIALLY YOUR TEENAGERS) want to look you in the eye and talk at dinner. 

But many of you fall into the trap of bringing your phone to the table, just because you have this work thing that might come up. Tell your work it can wait. Your kids need you. They WANT to be with you. 

On the playground, while you give your kids a bath, hanging around the house...it is so crucial to use these moments to connect with your kids, and have honest conversations about the LORD with them. Don’t waste it by staring at your phone while you push your kid in the swing. 

Even with toddlers, they are craving just to see your face. Don’t let them see an Apple symbol or the word Samsung...instead of your eyes. PUT THE PHONE AWAY and look at your kids. 

At Bedtime, don’t finish your evening by watching TV then shuffling the kids to bed. Read with them. Talk about the Lord with them. Ask them a question. Tell them a memory about how the Lord has been faithful to you. 

There’s one more danger with technology. If our homes are supposed to be a place where we want our kids to open up and talk about their sin, their weaknesses, and ask questions without being ridiculed...a place where we can talk about important things, we can’t constantly video them and post our conversations for people to read on Social Media. 

See, your phone represents the rest of the world. When you bring that into your family, you cut your kids off from that place of privilege and vulnerability with you. 

When you take a video of everything they do, your kids learn that home is a place to perform for the world, instead of a place to be honest with Mom and Dad. 

When you document their vulnerable questions and conversations because you think your Facebook friends will get a kick out of it, they learn that even when they talk to Mom and Dad, there’s a chance the world could find out, that doesn’t help them be honest. It tells them there are no places for authentic conversation. There is no safe space to confess and be honest. You are telling them, right there in your home, that they always have to be ready to perform. 

Don’t let technology steal your “on the way” moments. They are more valuable than that email. More precious than that text. And more rewarding than million Facebook likes. They are the way your kids will learn to love God with all their heart, soul, and might. 

When Jeremy Cowart told his story, he said “When I said, “I Can’t” , My dad told me Phil 4:13 over and over again.” That assumes 2 things. One that Jeremy’s Dad was around to listen. He actually heard his son say “I can’t”. And two, most of those times probably weren’t during a Bible study...they were on the way. See, that’s what’s on the line here. The difference is a child who quits...and one who lives for the glory of God. A child who is safe and successful...an one who is shot out like an arrow. 

Parents, your voice is strong. Make sure its present, and make sure its speaking the Word of God. 

I want to finish like this. These Scriptures seem to put an incredible amount of pressure on parents, don’t they? Moms, do you feel the mommy guilt starting to creep up? I haven’t done enough. I’m failing my kids. Dads...does it feel impossible to both provide financially for your family and be there relationally for them? Let me give you some hope. 

3) Christ is the difference between fearful condemnation and fearless conviction. 

That verse that Jeremy’s Dad said over and over to him when he was ready to quit is often misunderstood. The power is not in the first half of it. The point is not in the first half of it...Its in the last part. The point is not I CAN DO ALL THINGS...the point is THROUGH CHRIST who gives strength. See, Jesus is not some self-actualization project. He’s not a tool to be picked up and used to boost your confidence. Jesus is not a life coach. He is the only way to have a relationship with God. ...and isn’t the point of the universe? See, Jesus is the difference between condemnation and conviction. 

In Ephesians 6:4, Paul says, “Do not provoke your children to anger.” Do you know what that means? It means that as parents we are likely to see our kids as a project... we are likely to overstate our role in their lives. So we smother and crush our kids because we have this guilt that rises up within us that says, “Everything my kids becomes depends on what I do right now...so PIANO LESSONS, STUDY TIME, SPORTS...STRUCTURE. DISCIPLINE.” But there is no formula to making your kids turn out just right. 

You don’t have that power. Did you notice how Psalm 127 starts? Unless the LORD builds the house,
those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city, 

the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep. 

No verses have described parenthood more accurately. Anxious toil...beloved sleep! But do you see this. 

It is the Lord that builds your house. You family. Your kids. You can follow every verse perfectly. You can NAIL IT as a parent...but the LORD has got to work in your kids. Or else you labor in vain. You stay awake worrying in vain. You eat the bread of anxious toil. But God never sleeps. So you can. See, without the LORD, you are going to make your kids your god. You are going to make the way the turn out... you’re going to make it everything. And the pressure you put on your kids will crush them. Because they aren’t supposed to be your gods. They are supposed to be your kids. And when you fail at making your kids into gods. You will hear a voice of condemnation. “You aren’t a good parent. You’re blowing it. Its your fault. You should be reading your kids a book. Home schooling them. Cleaning the house. Making dinner. Getting them better clothes. How could you call yourself a good parent?” 

That is the voice of an accuser. That is the voice of Satan. See, Satan takes what you’ve done, and tears you down. That’s condemnation. 

But Jesus is different. See when you put your faith in Jesus, The Cornerstone of the house God is building...he dwells with you now. And his Holy Spirit is not a condemner...he’s a convictor. Satan, the accuser takes what you’ve done, and tears you down. The Holy Spirit takes what Jesus has done for you, and builds you up. 

The voice of the Holy Spirit says, “Your kids aren’t god. I am. You are not guilty for your sins against your kids, because when Christ died on the cross, he took your punishment. He took your condemnation away from you. So now, love your kids the way Christ has loved you. Lay down your life for them, as Christ did for you. But know all along, that it's the Lord that builds the house. Constantly point your kids to Jesus as their hope, because without him...well...even if they are safe and successful...they will miss the point entirely.” That’s conviction. 

Parents, Unless the Lord the builds the house, you labor in vain to build it. IN Jesus you are not condemned, you are forgiven. In Jesus, you don’t have to eat the bread of anxious toil as you raise your kids...you can rest...you can sleep...because he never does. And as you fearlessly parent, you can do all things...THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS YOU. 

This is true with so much more than just parenting. Its true of everything that we tend to make the point of our lives. See, anything that you value more than God himself, is your god. And those things, will always make you fearful...eating the bread of anxious toil. 

But Christ’s body was broken for us. So that when we eat this bread in the LORDS SUPPER TODAY, we know, that our Father has made a way for us to dwell with him. This is not the bread of anxious toil, Jesus is the bread of life.